1. Hello, Anxiety. It’s been a while.

    I spent the past weekend in Nashville visiting Belmont’s new college of law and attending Steeplechase with some friends.  And that was great, except for one asshole ambulance-chaser lawyer telling me I’d never get a job anywhere if I went to Belmont because “they’re not a respected school.”  And also, according to him, Mercer isn’t that great a school either.  I’m not sure what his problem with me was, but I seriously had to get away from him for a while, so I spent about an hour wandering around the grounds by myself.

    Of course, as usual when I am under tremendous stress, I spent the drive back from Nashville and yesterday evening warding off anxiety attacks.  I’m so ready to have a set plan for what I am going to do and where I am going to be, and I can’t wait to make a firm decision and start moving forward.

    Mercer is, of course, a great law school, but I feel so weird about going that far away from all my family and friends…and I also worry because Macon is such a nasty town.  This will be Belmont’s charter class, but Nashville is a very short and nice drive from my hometown and so many of my friends live there.  So there are pros and cons to both schools.  But I feel like if I am accepted at Belmont, that’s where I should attend.  I’m praying really hard about what is the best decision for me.  Of course, the biggest problem to attending Mercer would be finding a living situation.  Norma Jean, my Doberman Pinscher, is presenting a huge problem for me because I can’t find an apartment complex that will rent to me if I bring her to live with me.  And in Macon, all the homes I’ve found for rent are in really shady parts of town.  My mother says that if I decide to go to Mercer, Norma could live with her.  I appreciate that offer, but the truth is (and I know this sounds completely neurotic) I would miss my baby girl more than anything else!  I just can’t imagine leaving her behind.  :(  And I feel that if I left her here and went to school in Macon, I wouldn’t last down there very long because of how much I would be missing her.

    Hello, Anxiety.  It’s been a while…

  2. Musings

    I had dreams for my life. I wanted him to be a part of it all. But I was let down. Now all of this feels like a contingency plan.

  3. Just another manic Monday

    I have spent the entire weekend looking online at homes in Macon.  I’m about to schedule an appointment to visit the law school and to look at housing possibilities in the area.  I’m extremely nervous, but at the same time I feel so blessed to have this experience and so excited for the possibilities that lie ahead.

    I also feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life who like me just the way I am.  I’ve been very lucky to meet the friends that I have, and their love and support is truly humbling to me.  Most of all, I thank God for them because they love and encourage me even when I am down on myself.  And that truly means so much to me. <3

  4. Photos by Steve Cunningham of SMC Artwork.

  5. Mercer

    I received my official acceptance letter and admissions packet from Mercer University’s Walter F. George School of Law yesterday.  I feel so many different emotions at once - elation, apprehension, anxiety, hope - and I am just a wee bit overwhelmed at the moment.

    After being rejected by the University of Tennessee (my Alma Mater) for admission into their law program, I feel extremely blessed and honored that Mercer has made me this offer.

    I had had a lot of emotional and personal reasons for wanting to stay in Knoxville for my legal education.  Until recently, the idea of going out of state for law school just seemed unfathomable to me.  I am settled in Knoxville, and uprooting my life to move elsewhere would be monumental.  And yet…I find myself making the decision to do just that.

    I still have a couple of weeks before I have to make a decision, and during that time I will thoughtfully and prayerfully consider all my options before making a conclusive resolution.  But Mercer is a major option and the one toward which I am most strongly leaning.  Whatever my decision, I continue to seek God’s will, and I know that He is lovingly guiding me in the best direction for my future.

  6. Very true of my own personality&#8230;

    Very true of my own personality…

  7. Yesterday at the Easter Vigil, my eight-month journey in the RCIA program came to a close as I was confirmed a member of the Roman Catholic church.  I cannot begin to express what a blessing this endeavor has been to my life, nor how many wonderful people I have met along the way.  I was so thankful that my mother, father, brother, and sister were there to support me as I took this step in my life; I felt so very lucky and blessed.  I am so excited about the things God has planned for the rest of my life, and I am putting all my faith in Him.

  8. Holy Thursday Mass

    I’ve just returned home from the Maundy Thursday Mass at my church, and right now I am reflecting upon the story of the Lord’s supper and Christ’s prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane as He knew His betrayal, Passion, and death were imminent.  Two particular aspects of this prayer are especially moving to me.

    First, in Matthew 26:39, Jesus prays to God the Father saying that He wishes the suffering to pass.  But ultimately, he declares, “O my Father, not as I will, but as You will.”  I pray daily that I can overcome my own wishes and desires and submit to God’s will for my life.

    Second, a certain part of Christ’s prayer in John 17 moves my soul every time I read it.  After praying for his original Disciples, Jesus says, “My prayer is not for them alone.  I pray for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.  May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (John 17:20&21)  Every time I read that, I am amazed that Jesus Christ Himself is praying for me.  Me, Britni.  And that is so completely powerful that it baffles my mind.

    My prayer this Holy Thursday is that I will be willing more and more each day to trust God to mold my life to His will and trust in him even when I don’t understand, and that I will be able to honor Christ with my life, that those who know me may see His glory in my daily life.

About me

I'm in my late 20s. (Yikes!! How did that happen?!) I'm seeking to live each day with Jesus Christ at the center of my life. I'm a new Catholic, law student at Belmont University, graduate of the University of Tennessee, former student at Berry College, lover of horses and dogs (and mom to two furbabies, Norma Jean and Evie), poet, culinary enthusiast, dreamer, etc.

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